The Top Ten Saddest Eyes
1. John Heffernan: Despite his generally charming and enthusiastic disposition (seriously, ask him about Matilda some time, and hold on to your ovaries), nobody has sadder eyes than John Heffernan. This is proven by the fact that in about 30% of the photos of him that are available on the internet, he is, in fact, crying; tears clinging to his beautiful eyelashes, pupils sparkling with a deep, quiet grief— (That’s enough now - Ed.)
2. Kit Harington: Kit shows his Sad Bastard Eyes off to fine effect in Game of Thrones, but it was his role in War Horse that really gave these babies a workout. So huge and brown you could see ‘em from a mile off (aka the back row at The National), Kit’s eyes put enough emotion into a reunion with a wire and wooden horse to make grown men weep.
3. Phil Cumbus: We are yet to see these particular Sad Eyes - currently in action as Claudio in The Globe’s Much Ado About Nothing - in actual, real life, but it only takes a few photos (and some encouraging words from other members of Team Cumberbus) to earn him this spot on our list.
4. Sam Crane: Oh SAM, the sadness within you, we can see it - your eyes make us feel it. Seriously, we often worry about his sad self - there has to be some serious inner turmoil going on if you manage to look that blue during a JIG. Fair Sam’s baby blues are almost always BRIMMING WITH SADNESS.
5. Jamie Parker: Most people know Jamie Parker from The History Boys, where his sad eyes are deployed less often than his sparkling, crinkly ones. But if you’ve watched Valkyrie, you’ll know that Mr Parker spends the entire film making sad eyes so heartbreaking that they give an otherwise frankly rubbish film a deep emotional core.
6. Andrew Garfield: You can’t really hold the nickname Bambi without having the very tip-top saddest eyes, and boy does this guy have a corking set. His scenes in The Social Network are almost too hard to watch; you can actually see his heart breaking on the screen. Oh BAMBI.
7. Jack Laskey: If Laskey’s hair is full of feelings, it’s his eyes that shoot those feelings out all over the place. He didn’t have much to say during his latest outing at the Young Vic in I Am The Wind, but he managed to communicate an entire back story almost entirely via his eyes (his hair put out of action in this instance by an extreme case of soggy homoeroticism).
8. Jon Richardson: Jon is, ostensibly, a comedian. Quite how this can be the case when he is so completely, heart-achingly sad is beyond me. Anyone who’s read his book will know that it contains passages so bleak that they’re almost unbearable, and that sadness definitely comes across in his eyes.
9. Harry Lloyd: Despite being master of the Patented Harry Lloyd Crazy Eyes™, Harry also does a good Sad Eye. His big, dark eyes tug at the heartstrings all the way through the BBC’s Robin Hood, and see their crowning moment of melancholy when - in a particularly stirring moment - he sheds a single emo tear. IN A CAVE.
10. Ben Whishaw: I doubt there is an actor out there with so extensive a Sad Eyed repertiore as darling Ben. Hamlet, Keats, Freddie Lyon, Richard II - even his mid-90s Birdseye adverts have a whisper of the Sad Eyes about them!